Nastaran

My name is Nastaran. I believed in Jesus three years ago and today I want to tell you the story of my life.
I grew up in a family in which there was patriarchy and it always made me sad. I got married at an early age when I was a teenager. The name of my husband was Saeed. I had a very good life after marriage and I loved my husband very much and for me he was an ideal man that I always liked. It was such a way that when I went out with my friends and my friends told me that the other men were so beautiful, I did not allow myself even to look at the men. Although Saeed did not have good financial situation and we lived in a small room, but there was love in our home and this was enough for me.

The years passed and our financial situation got better but I felt that there was no love among me and my husband and I felt that my husband has kept me distance. I had noticed his suspicious behavior and knew that he had relationship with the other woman because my neighbor had seen him with another woman. I had suspicious and annoying phone call that had made me sad. Several times I saw the phone number without name on Saeed's phone and when I called the number, a woman answered, and I felt that the woman knew who I was and tried to annoy me more and told me that she had relationship with Saeed!

The situation continued and finally I realized when I was not at home, someone came to my house with Saeed and sometimes my personal belongings were missing! I was sure that my husband brought home a woman because my neighbors told me when I was not at home a woman had come to my home! I was so upset that I wanted to commit suicide and I told myself that when I loved my husband so much, why he betrayed me!

After a while the situation became worse and he even gave our house keys to his friends to use our house for those things. He forcibly took me my mother's house and went and told me that he went to work but I knew that he had nothing to do and went back home. I had hated my house. I felt that my house was unclean because I knew that when I was not at home, someone has been on my bed or touched my personal belongings.

This behavior of my husband continued for years and he did not change at all. His behavior had created a sense of hatred inside me and so I decided to have revenge and began to make friends and have illicit sexual relationship with other men. Although Saeed did not know it, in my own mind I thought that I have revenged from him.

I was very sad due to the corruption that had involved my married life, and I thought only of revenge and I hated both myself and Saeed. I disliked myself and felt that I was a dirty and unclean person and accused Saeed and thought that I could never forgive him because if he did not betray me I did not become a prisoner of adultery!

One day, one of my friends invited me to Christ and took me to a house church, and when they prayed for me, I felt a strange calm and a new hope in my heart. In my life, I always thought until where I could bear the burden of my sins with myself and God showed me that he could cleanse my sins and I believed in Christ after three months, and I thank God that Christ took the burden of my sins.

After that I believed in Jesus Christ, I abandoned the adultery and revenge. The biggest blessing that I had was that I could forgive my husband and Christ removed the hatred in my heart toward Saeed. I never thought that I could forgive my husband and forget his annoyances and bothers and love him again. By the new life that I started, every day I experiences the blessings of God and the healing of my family relationship and my relationship with my husband has become very good and my husband also believed in Christ.

Since the betrayal and adultery has increased in Iran, as a woman, I pray for the women who have the conditions like me and commit the betrayal and adultery to calm themselves and avenge the inappropriate deeds of their husbands, and sometimes some of them commit suicide because of the burden of their sins!